February 2012
I really need to
carleycann:
start not caring again.. i was so good at it for months because you made me this way, I’m getting so attached again and constantly worrying. I need space for things to go right for me, thinking of me from now on not you.. you never did that for me
I’m happy with the way things are going. Obviously there are going to be rocky points in my life, but the people that stick by my side through them are the ones that I know truly matter. I’m drifting from people and I hate it, but at the same time I know I can’t completely dwell on it because I need to focus on me and making sure I’m happy. Yes it sucks but there’s...
so fucking relevant
Mom: What's wrong?
My mind: I used to do so well in school but I'm not anymore.
My mind: The people I call friends, aren't my actual friends.
My mind: I'm constantly feeling alone.
My mind: I'm starting to look at myself different.
My mind: Nothing feels the same anymore.
My mind: I feel like I'm going to fail at anything I try to do.
My mind: I haven't been eating that much and I'm hungry all the time.
My mind: I feel like no one cares about me.
My mind: I just wanna sleep all day and never wake up.
Me: Oh nothing I'm fine.
I wanna go back to the days where I knew you cared, where I didn’t feel like I was bothering you if I texted you for something. I want the days back where it wasn’t a question whether or not I’d see you, we knew we were hanging out everyday; the days where I would wake up and have texts from you already with plans for the day or the night. When every night was spent shitfaced...
Phone goes off and my country play list gets blared in my eaars. So done with everything right now.
Stop being so excited about moving.
